15 Clear Ways to become a Better Friend

I was at a conference yesterday when I heard someone call my name. Now, I have a pretty common name, so I didn’t think much of it. But when I heard it again—this time clearer—I turned around and there she was: a dear friend I hadn’t seen since the pandemic (which, let’s be honest, feels like it was a whole century ago).

We hugged, laughed, and caught up like no time had passed. It felt so good to reconnect, but it also got me wondering—why had it taken us so long?

When I registered for that conference, I expected to learn and network, not to get the unexpected gift of reconnection. That moment reminded me how vital female friendships are and how easy it is to let them slip through the cracks.

The truth is, as we get older, life becomes fuller—careers, family, deadlines, and just trying to keep it all together. Making time for friendships can start to feel like one more task on an endless to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Just like any other area of our lives—wellness, work, or finances—building meaningful friendships requires intention, wisdom, and a whole lot of grace. The good ones are always worth the effort.

5 Reasons to Build Female Friendships

First of all, I believe we all need adult friendships, particularly strong female friendships. There are several benefits to having great female friends and here are 5 you should know:

1. They provide emotional support

Women are generally emotional beings, and this innate sensitivity enables us to provide amazing emotional support to other women. You know how it feels when you’re going through stuff and you speak to a friend who ‘gets it’ without explanation?

At such moments, you feel seen and know you matter.

2. They are confidence boosters and your cheerleaders

Okay, great friendships are definitely good for our self-esteem. You know we women can be especially hard on ourselves. I know times I felt I looked terrible, or I had messed up and I had a friend speak life into me.

I have also done this for several friends and it is always such a joy see them walk a little straighter and their eyes shine a little brighter from hearing positive and affirming words. Most women know how to do this for their friends. And we all bloom in such friendships.

3. They provide a safe space for vulnerability

One thing I absolutely love about great female friendships is that we can be vulnerable with each other. I met up with one of my friends from college, and we talk about everything. From farting in front of each other, to how our lives had evolved over the years (things that we had done and things we had failed to do).

It was affirming to open up to someone who had known me for a long time and not worry about being judged or ridiculed.

4. They evolve with you

Great friendships are not static but flow and adapt to the current pressures and expectations of life. You tend to grow together as you go through life’s journey. Whether it is career changes, relocation, marriage and motherhood, or even, we tend to experiences these key stages with patience and understanding.

5. They make life more fun and fulfilling

There is so much joy in true friendships, and I think the biggest reason for this is that there is no pretence, each of you shows up as you are and know it will be great. I am a fun-loving person, though I don’t go out much, when I do, it is always such a joy to spend time laughing, doing activities together and even travelling together.

Well, here are 15 ideas you can incorporate to become a better friend.

15 Awesome Ways to be that Friend we all LOVE

1. Check in on Your Friends

Find time to reconnect with your friends. This may a weekly or monthly check in.  You don’t have to wait for them to do it. Of course, the depth of your friendship will affect how committed you are to this process.

2. Share Exciting Opportunities

Don’t hoard useful ideas and opportunities which you know may benefit your friend.

3. Invite them to Meaningful Events.

The conference I mentioned earlier had been sent to me by another friend, and it turned out to be an insightful experience. It’s interesting that her thoughtfulness has also driven me to think about other events or things she may be interested in.

4. Be a Connector

This follows on from the previous idea. I think one hallmark of great adult friendships lies in our willingness to help our friends expand their network. Imagine friendships where each friend is always willing to connect their friends to great people and organisations they know.

5. Be an Active Listener

This should be a given but you will be surprised how often we take conversations with our friends for granted. You may assume you already know what they will talk about so are not fully engaged in the conversation. A good friend is an active listener and if she is unable to join in , she excuses herself rather than pretending.

6. Become their Cheerleader

Supporting and cheering on your friends through important and life-changing moments should be a non-negotiable of great female friendships.

7. Support their Goals

Do you know the dreams and goals of your friends? Can you rightly identify the things that matter to them and ways to help them achieve these things? Knowing and doing these things will certainly strengthen your friendships.

8. Organise Activities together

Great friends actually do stuff together, these could be physical or virtual activities but the real objective is to spend time together.

9. Remember memorable days

Do you remember the birthdays or wedding anniversaries of your friends? I know I used to be really bad with this, and had to set google reminders. Thankfully, there are a few that are now seared into my brain after forgetting a few times. Lol

10. Bridge the Gap

You don’t have to wait for them to reach out before you do. If you believe they are a great friend and you want to have them in your life then you must be willing to bridge the gap.

11. Be Honest with them

Honesty is an important foundation in long-term friendships. Honesty makes trust and vulnerability much easier. It also improves the health of your friendship because you both are willing to be candid and do so to avoid things festering. I will be the first to admit that you need a whole load of wisdom and grace to navigate this knowing we women are sensitive and given to overthinking things.

12. Send them thoughtful notes or gifts, just because

Find ways to brighten the day of your friends. I have found little encouraging notes can be such a thoughtful and timely way to do just that.

13. Share Your Own Dreams and Goals

A good friendship is not a one-way street. There is often an interchange required when building and keeping the relationship. Which means there should be some level of support on both sides.

14. Become their Accountability Partner

I imagine you want your friend to be a better version of herself, and one way to do this is to hold her accountable to her goals and dreams. It’s not enough to know what she wants to do, you can also check in to make sure she is following through on her personal growth.

15. Support their Business or Career growth

Do you have a friend who just started a business? Have you patronised her or helped her market her business? This is not mandatory, but doing something to make life easier and better for a friend can be life-changing.

Start Building Your Friendship Circle today

I hope this post has inspired you with practical, heartfelt ways to build and nurture your circle of female friendships. As I mentioned earlier, strong friendships aren’t just a nice-to-have—they’re deeply beneficial for your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Investing time and energy into the right relationships is one of the most life-giving choices you can make.

So today, take a small but powerful step: reach out to one or two friends and let them know how much they mean to you. A simple message can reignite connection and remind you both that you’re not alone in this journey