Growing up, did you ever imagine what your 30’s would look like?
I know I had a vague idea that things would somehow fall into place. You may have had similar ideas.
It’s easy to imagine what kind of person we want to become but this doesn’t always translate in real life.
This is especially so when we are faced with the decisions and choices that will turn us into the sort of person we long to be.
I know I wanted to be a confident and hardworking woman.
I wanted to be the kind of person who did things without obsessing about what others were thinking and saying. To live without fear. Ha!
It all sounded well and good. But I didn’t always follow through.
I made excuses and looked for shortcuts but often found myself right back where I started.
A lot changed when I turned thirty.

The new decade was a wakeup call to re-examine my life and make some changes. I wanted to live unafraid, I wanted to pursue my dreams and to do things that would make life better for others and for myself. And I knew I couldn’t just say these nice sounding things, I needed to live them.
I needed to make the daily choices that would lead me down the right path.
What about you?
How was the transition into your 30’s? Did you also feel this huge burden to make life count? Did you once again recognise the brevity of life? You probably did.
As I prepare to enter my 40’s, I would like to leave you with these life changing ideas. I pray they inspire you to a transformed life.
FIVE LIFE SKILLS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR 30’S YOUR BEST DECADE YET
Here are five things to sort out in our 30s
- Clarify your values and beliefs
There are many quotes about the need to ‘know thyself’ and ‘be true to thyself’. In some circles, it’s a given that you have a personal vision and life commandments. But if you were to ask us individually, you may find that very few of us can articulate the things that matter to us and why they matter.
Your 30’s are a great time to get clear about what matters to you.
For instance, you may say you are a Christian. But can you really say why? Was it because your parent were Christians, was it what was expected? Can you articulate what it means to be a Christian and how you want your choices and goals to reflect this?
I have found that it becomes easier to say yes or no to opportunities and choices that come our way when we know what we want and need, per time.
2. Be prepared
One thing the pandemic taught us is that anything can happen.
In some ways, there is no level of preparation that would have prepared the world for the maelstrom that was COVID-19.
That’s one way to look at it, but it’s not the fully picture.
Preparation is not about eliminating every risk but rather about mitigating the impact of the risk.
Being prepared is one of the greatest skills we can learn as it affects every area of our lives. It affects our:
- Work output – it’s harder to contribute when you don’t know much about the area.
- Finances – being prepared is like having savings and investments to cover unexpected expenses.
- Career development – learning new skills and developing in our areas of interest.
- Goals and dreams – being prepared means having a plan of action. What we want to do and how we will do it.
- Relationships – don’t let the warm fuzzy feelings stop you from learning how to communicate effectively, how to be open and honest and how to support each other through life’s trials.
- New businesses – before you go into a new business, you would want to learn more about running a business and about the industry you’re interested in.

3. Manage your finances
If you’re in your 30’s or older, then you’ve probably worked for a while, perhaps for over a decade. And you have hopefully learnt a few basics of money management. Even if you haven’t, our 30’s are a great time to re-set our financial health and make sure we are being good stewards of all we have been blessed with.
Here are the basics:
- Manage your income (consider ways to increase your income and resources)
- Spend less than you earn (use a budget to manage your expenses)
- Save
- Invest (in yourself, in assets, and in others)
I share more personal finance tips here.
4. Overcome the past
Another reality of being over 30 is that you have lived experiences.
You have gone through stuff and probably have a few scars to show for it.
The danger of getting older is that we can get hung up on the past. On mistakes, missed opportunities and regrets, all the things that can stifle our present and future.
Growing up, I would often hear that ‘time heals all wounds’, but I have found this to be a BIG FAT LIE!
The human mind is like a pack of gigantic elephants, it can hold on to things and replay past events, over and over again.
I know because it once took me over 5 years to get over a 5-month relationship. And it wasn’t time that healed me.
Time doesn’t heal, God does.
Basically, it is not the time but what we do in that time.
Our 30’s present an opportunity to overcome the pains of our past and focus on our present and future, but this is not a given.
It is a skill we need to practice This is why I also encourage women to take on therapy and counselling, if they know you need it. But do choose your counsellor/therapist wisely.
5. Be Resilient
“Tough times never last, but tough people do”
Anon
Resilience is probably my favourite of all the skills I have mentioned. I also think it is one of the hardest life skills to cultivate. It is a skill we will always need no matter how old we are.
So, what word comes to mind when you hear resilience? Is it change, sacrifice, pain, strength, Brené Brown (Lol), being flexible, persevering or being unbreakable?
Webster’s dictionary defines resilience as:
“an ability to recover from and adjust easily to misfortune or change.”
Did you catch the “…adjust easily…”? Isn’t that amazing!
Being able to bounce back from challenges and unexpected situations is something that will always come in handy.
You may be wondering how to become more resilient. According to Jacob Tebes, a psychologist at Yale School of Medicine who with some of his colleagues, carried out Stress and Resilience Town halls during the pandemic, identified a few factors that promote resilience, including: practicing acceptance, improving self care, building social connections, make adjustments at work and home, amongst others.
Living life in your 30’s – Start where you are.
Maybe you’re reading this and you’re already at the tail end of your 30’s(like me) or perhaps, you’re not yet 30. No matter how old you are, the same logic applies – make the most of now!
The five skills I’ve shared can help you better navigate your present and maximise your future.
Here’s wishing you an incredible decade filled with God’s immeasurable grace and blessings.
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