Are your feelings stopping you from living your dream life? Do you often feel overwhelmed and out of your depth when you think about your goals and dreams?
If so, then keep reading.
Have you ever wondered why so many of us are obsessed with DIY Shows and Series like Fixer Upper by Chip and Joanna Gaines?
This show and many others on channels like HGTV were a fan favourite.
I think we loved these shows because we humans are suckers for transformation stories.
We love to watch these connoisseurs create a luxury home out of what most of us would call a junk house. We would watch them turn garish furnishings into sought-after pieces.
This is probably why rags to riches stories will always be hit. We find ourselves rooting for the underdog. But do you know something surprising?
We don’t show the same level of interest and belief when it comes to our own lives.
Even after watching incredible stories (including real life stories of people who turned their lives, businesses, or homes around) we often fail to see how this applies to our own stories.
An undeniable truth about our feelings
This was what came to my heart this evening while on my prayer walk. Just a few hours prior, I had been feeling overwhelmed. I had had a lot on my plate and just couldn’t imagine how I would accomplish it all. And in moments like this, I tend to shut down, which doesn’t really help.
But one of the things I have been learning in this season of my life is to identify and examine my feelings. This has been a game changer, as it has revealed an undeniable truth:
‘Our feelings are valid but cannot always be trusted.’
While we should not ignore how we are feeling at any given point, we should also not place too much weight on them.
Here’s why this distinction is paramount.
Our thought life affects our feelings, so if our thoughts are negative or pessimistic, this will affect our emotions which will in turn influence our feelings.
The way you feel is not always about what is going on around you, but more so about what you think about what is going on.
Back to my story.
When I traced the feelings of overwhelm, I realised it had more to do with my thoughts over the last 24 hours. I am currently running a business, while also building this blog on the side. This past weekend, I spent time reading some blogging resources, which I have been doing for most weekends these past few months, but this time around, I came across stories of people who seemed to have grown their blog in record time.
These were stories of people making thousands of dollars within a few months of starting their blog. Instead of feeling inspired, I felt overwhelmed and discouraged.
Do you know why you feel the way you do?
While on this walk, I got a chance to distil my thoughts and feelings. I acknowledged how I was feeling, and I also realised that it was up to me to change my thoughts and by extension, my feelings.
My dream is to build Pineapplly into a personal growth business that empowers thousands of women, who are over 30, to create and achieve the life of their dreams.
This was borne from the realisation that the older we get, the more likely we are to give up on our dreams.
And I have realised that so many of us have dreams of our personal transformation. Maybe this is another reason we love watching transformation stories. They remind us of something within us. A hunger to create.
We may see other people killing it in their careers, their businesses, and their relationships and tell ourselves that we don’t have what it takes to make it work.
I know this because I was that girl. I was that girl with so many dreams I gave up on because I felt:
It was too late.
I wasn’t good enough.
I didn’t have the right network, or skills or status.
I was in the wrong city or country.
See, I had said all these things, but I also knew they were all excuses. They were excuses I was using to shield the real culprits – fear and laziness.
A fear of failing
A fear of what people will think.
A fear of success
A fear of missing out on other things.
Perhaps, you can relate.
You can relate to the number of times you have ignored that deep ache within you to try. That desire to act and see what will come of your dream.
I’m here to tell you that it’s time to try. It’s time to take action.
Imagine if Chip and Joanna Gaines had given up in the face of the ugliest or most difficult house ever, imagine if they decided that absolutely nothing could be done? Maybe their show and legacy will be nothing like it is today.
That, in itself, is a story. The fact that no matter how bad something may seem, there is always a way to make it better.
Many times, the transformation we seek will not be instant, it will require a continuous chipping away at our fears and hang-ups. It will require a level of consistency and commitment to reveal the beautiful finishing underneath the gaudy exterior.
Knowing this, I plan to keep pressing on with Pineapplly and all the other dreams I had almost given up on (including my dream to publish a novel).
Today, I am rewriting my story, and I hope you do too.
I know your feelings are valid.
Yes, I want you to acknowledge how you are feeling at any given point in time but do remember that they cannot always be trusted.
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How to tackle your feelings as quickly as possible
Here’s is a quick exercise you can try when next you feel overwhelmed or discouraged:
- Examine and identify the real emotion.
- Trace your steps – find out what led to these feelings.
- Reframe the story you are telling yourself. “change your story, change your life.”
- Take action. Actually do the thing you have been avoiding. Don’t give up on those dreams.
The above exercise has helped me manage my emotions more effectively.
It is a powerful self-care routine that can help you protect your mental health and productivity.
I also streamlined this process after reading ‘The Power of the Subconscious Mind’ by Joseph Murphy. I can’t recommend this book enough.
Rather than falling into an emotional rabbit hole for hours or days, I am now able to tackle the issues as quickly as possible.
Now, if you believe you need more structure and support, I will be opening My Dream Life Accountability Program soon to help you not only pursue your dreams but to achieve them.
This is something I wish I had when I started my journey. I know how powerful it is to have a safe space where you can share and get support on your journey.
You can join the waitlist here.
That’s a great book! A classic for sure! Got me through some rough times. I wish you great success with your new program!
Yes, it really is. Thank you for your kind words, Kathy.
Terrific and very insightful post!
Thank you so much, David. Glad you think so.
My wife admitted that she never would have thought she would be 35 living in a van on the road full time with her husband, and two furbags. Goals sometimes change and you need to be ready to feel those emotions! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing your story, Jarrod. You’re right, our goals do change and we need to be willing to reframe our story in a manner that is true and helpful.
Interesting and thought provoking post. I think a lot of folks have a sort of imposter syndrome where they think they want to try but maybe aren’t quite good enough or it’s just not for them. It’s hard to put yourself out there but you have to be in the arena to win, as they say. Definitely food for thought.
Hi, Carol. You’re right. We have to “be in the arena to win…”. Thanks for sharing
Insightful post!
Thank you.
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