Ava O

You know those dreams you’ve been nurturing for years?
The ones that live quietly in your journal, or whisper to you during long walks?

Yeah… those ones.

Today’s topic is one of those deliciously indicting ones — because if we’re honest, most of us are guilty.
We love to dream, but we struggle to move.

Can I get a witness? 😅

We all have visions of the life we want; the business, the book, the healthier body, the deeper faith, the more intentional relationships. But how many of those dreams ever make it into real life?
How many things can we confidently say we pursued and actualized?

If you’ve been feeling stuck between dreaming and doing, you’re not alone. There are many reasons we stay there, but most of them fall under three big roadblocks:

1. The Fallacy of Unlimited Time

There’s this quiet lie we all tell ourselves: “There’s still time.”
We push off what matters most because we assume tomorrow will always be available.

But the truth? Time isn’t waiting for us.

When I first started building my brand, I had every reason to delay. I told myself I’d start “when things slowed down,” “when I had more money,” or “when I felt more ready.”

Except that day never came.

At some point, I realized I was spending more energy planning to begin than actually beginning.

If this sounds like you, here’s your gentle reminder: start now, while it’s still a seed. Don’t wait for perfect conditions. God blesses motion, not just intention.

“The best time to start was yesterday. The next best time is now.”

2. The Fears

Fear wears many disguises; procrastination, perfectionism, overthinking, comparison.
But underneath, it’s often the same root: What if I fail? What if I’m not enough?

I’ve had those thoughts too.
When I started this blog, I kept wondering, “Who am I to share this?” “Do I even know enough to start a personal growth blog?”
But I had to remind myself that obedience mattered more than validation.

The truth is, fear doesn’t disappear, you move with it. You overcome it.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear.
It’s deciding that your purpose is worth the discomfort.

So, if fear’s been whispering “not yet,”
tell it gently: “Watch me do it anyway.”

3. The Lack of Persistence

Most dreams don’t die from failure, they die from fatigue.

We start excited, fueled by vision and passion, but when progress slows, we quit too soon. For many of us, we find it hard to move beyond the messy middle

Maybe you’ve been here:
You set goals in January, but by March, life gets busy. And by June, it is all but forgotten.
You start a new habit, but after one setback, you feel defeated.

Persistence is the quiet, often unseen work of faith, showing up again and again, even when the results aren’t instant.

When I started pursuing my personal goals seriously, I realized something: Consistency beats intensity in the long run.
Small steps, repeated faithfully, create transformation.

Moving From Dreaming to Doing

Dreams are beautiful, but they’re not meant to stay in your head.

The world needs what’s inside you.
And more importantly, you need to experience what it feels like to follow through.

So here’s a question to end with:
What’s one dream that’s been sitting too long on the shelf?
And what’s one step you can take this week to move it forward?

If you’re ready to bridge that gap between dreaming and doing, my book 105 Personal Growth Goals Every Woman Needs will help you take those ideas and turn them into action: one goal, one day, one brave choice at a time.

There’s an unspoken belief that once you hit your 30s, the big dreams should be behind you.
You’re supposed to settle, to be “realistic” and keep things safe.

I almost believed that.

At 35, I was supposed to: get a good job in my field, and stay there for the next decade or so. 

But there was a quiet stirring in me I couldn’t ignore. At 36, with no roadmap and plenty of doubts, I started my own business. I didn’t have it all figured out. What I did have was a whisper of faith and the courage to take one small step.

And that step changed everything.

Why We Stop Dreaming in Our 30s (and Beyond)

If you’ve ever felt like your big dreams are “unrealistic” or “too late,” you’re not alone. Many women hit this stage of life and quietly put their own desires on pause. 

Some of the common reasons why we do this: 

• Responsibility weighs heavier. Bills, family, career, caregiving…it can feel selfish to carve out space for your own dreams.

• Fear of failure feels riskier. At 20, failure is a lesson. At 35, it can feel like proof you’ve missed your chance.

• Comparison steals our spark. Watching others “ahead” in life makes us shrink back, doubting whether our dreams still matter.

• We’ve forgotten how to hope. After years of disappointments or detours, hope starts to feel dangerous.

The Truth You Need to Hear

Dreaming doesn’t expire.

In fact, your 30s, 40s, and beyond can be the richest seasons to dream because you now bring wisdom, resilience, and clarity that your younger self didn’t have.

The question isn’t: “Is it too late?”
The real question is: “Am I willing to begin again?”

How to Start Dreaming Again (Even If You Feel Stuck)

Here are three ways to gently wake up your dreaming self:

1. Give yourself permission to want more. It’s not selfish or irresponsible to want a bigger, fuller life. Desire is often God’s way of nudging you forward.
2. Start smaller than you think. You don’t need to overhaul your life in one leap. Begin with a single, doable step: journaling about what excites you, signing up for a class, or carving out one evening a week for your own projects.
3. Anchor your dreams in faith, not fear. Instead of asking “What if it fails?”, ask “What if this is the doorway God is opening for me?”

Your Next Step

If you’re feeling that quiet stirring for “more,” you don’t have to figure it out alone. I created a resource called 105 Personal Growth Goals Every Woman Needs, a guide to help you dream again, set meaningful goals, and take practical steps toward them.

✨ Start small. Dream again. And let this be the season you say yes to your next chapter. 

You can join our email list here to receive more inspiring ideas and support to take that much needed step.

As I’ve grown older, my friendships have taken on a deeper meaning. Today, many of my friendships are not only intentional, but are a choice each of us makes to stay connected. This is a far cry from when I made friends just because we were in the same space doing similar things.

It has come a long way from the halls of my college dorm and the water fountain at my first job.

Perhaps you can relate.

Maybe you have seen your friendships evolve over the last decade, from friendships built on convenience to friendships built by choice.

Whatever the case may be, I imagine we cannot deny the power of having people who love and encourage us through various stages of our lives.  

I think our 30s is a decade that invites us to a deeper kind of sisterhood, one that is rooted in shared values, real love, and alignment. These are the kind that challenge you, hold you, and celebrate you.

If you’ve ever struggled with letting go of a friend, craved deeper connections, or simply wanted to celebrate the women who show up for you, then these friendship quotes are just what you need.

I have curated these powerful friendships quotes into 6 themed sections, they are a reminder for the woman coming into her own in her 30s, each quote serving as a gentle nudge toward reflection, growth, and gratitude.

Friendship Quotes on Growth & Change

1. “Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life, you can barely remember what life was like without them.” – Anna Taylor

2. “Fine a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” – Amy Poehler

3. “No person is your friend (or kin) who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” – Alice Walker, “In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens”

4. “I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.” – Katherine Mansfield

5. “True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.” Ben Johnson

6. “Friends…they cherish one another’s hopes. They are kind to one another’s dreams.” Henry David Thoreau, “A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers”

Friendship Quotes on Loyalty & Trust

7. “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard

8. “I don’t know what I would have done so many times in my life if I hadn’t had my girlfriends. They have literally gotten me up out of bed, taken my clothes off, put me in the shower, dressed me, said, ‘Hey, you can do this,’ put my high heels on and pushed me out the door!” – Reese Witherspoon

9. “Friendship is a sheltering tree.” – Taylor Coleridge

10. “A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.” – Unknown

11. “Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” – Christy Evans

12. “In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” – John Churton Collins

Friendship Quotes on Shared Joy

13. “Best friends are the people in your life who make you laugh louder, smile brighter, and live better.” – Unknown

14. “Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

15. “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham

16. “It’s not that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but it’s your best friends who are your diamonds.” – Gina Barreca

17. “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

18. “Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.” – Anna Deavere Smith

Friendship Quotes on Boundaries

19. “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley

20. “Two things you will never have to chase: True friends & true love.” – Mandy Hale

21. “A best friend is the only one that walks into your life when the world has walked out.” – Shannon I. Adler

22. “When the world is so complicated, the simple gift of friendship is within all of our hands.” – Maria Shriver

23. “True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side. – Josh Grayson

24. “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Friendship Quotes on Lifelong Connection

25. “True friendship resists time, distance, and silence.” – Isabel Allende

26. “A good friend is a connection to life- a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” – Lois Wyse

27. “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” – G. Randolf

28. “There are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy.” – Henry Ford

29. “Time doesn’t take away from friendship, nor does separation.” – Tennessee Williams, “Memoirs”

30. “True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.” – Helen Keller

Why Friendships Matter in Your 30s

Thank you for taking time to read these 30 powerful friendship quotes for women. I hope they gave you room to  the need for deeper connections and intentional sisterhood over performative interactions.

Could you share which of these quotes resonated with you most and why? Perhaps you have a friendship you need to rekindle or release.

I hope these quotes act as a reminder of the beauty and richness of true friendships.

What are you willing to give up to live a simple and stress-free life?
That was the question that came to my mind the other day as I gazed at my office shelf sifting through a thousand tabs open in my mind. It was a difficult question to ask, but I couldn’t deny the necessity of it.

Growing older, and hopefully wiser has required the wilful doing away of things that no longer serve me and embracing the things I need for the woman I wish to become.

You can probably relate.

When the minimalist movement began a couple of years ago, many jumped on board for aesthetics, some seeking validation, but the truth is: simple living isn’t about the trend. It’s about the trade-offs. And the trade-offs are real.

True simplicity asks something of us. It invites us to unlearn, to release, to redefine what truly matters.

What Is Simple Living?

Simple living is the intentional choice to remove the unnecessary so you can focus on what truly nourishes your soul. It’s not just decluttering your home, which is one key part of the equation, but the decluttering of your mind, your calendar, and your heart. It’s choosing peace over pressure, depth over distraction, and alignment over approval.

It’s about coming home to yourself, to the freedom and liberty within yourself.

Thirty Ways to Live Simply as a Woman Over 30

1. Be clear about your primary goal.
What is your true desire, and why does it matter? Let this clarity become your compass.

2. Start your day with prayer and meditation.
Begin with stillness. Anchor yourself in something greater than the noise. For me, my morning prayers have been Godsent, literally.

3. Read daily.
Feed your mind with words that uplift, stretch, or soothe you.

4. Avoid gossip.
Speak life. Choose words that heal, not harm. I get the allure of gossip and the illusion of closeness it pretends to give but I know this is hollow and meaningless.

5. Enjoy your own company.
Your presence is not lacking; it is a gift. Savor it!

6. Speak less.
Leave room for mystery, mindfulness, and meaning. But more so, leave room to listen to what’s going on in your heart.

7. Give without expecting anything in return.
Let generosity be your default posture. Try not to make your relationships transactional.

8. Buy less.
Shop with intention. Let every item in your life serve a purpose or bring joy. Marie Kondo advocates that we curate our space with the things we love and actually need. Let this be your default setting when it comes to shopping.

9. Save a percentage of every income you receive.
This is non-negotiable. A little discipline today creates freedom tomorrow.

10. Don’t get attached to material things.
Everything you own is either supporting your life or distracting from it. Keeping this perspective saves you from greed and unnecessary heartache in the future.

11. Be comfortable saying no.
Protect your peace. No is a full sentence. Always is and always has been.

12. Quality trumps quantity.
Listen, as we grow older, we need to understand the importance of quality items. One beautiful piece is worth more than ten mediocre ones.

13. Invest in experiences.
Moments make memories; things rarely do.

14. Be open to learning new things.
Stay curious. Stay teachable. Learn as much and as well as you can.

15. Nurture your sense of humor.
Laugh at yourself often, it’s disarming and divine.

16. Smile more often.
Light spreads. Be the spark, you never know how your smile can change the very trajectory of another person’s day.

17. Drink more water and less soda.
Choose what energizes and heals you. Start small but make it a daily habit.

18. Count the cost before you decide.
Every “yes” carries a cost. Choose wisely.

19. Batch your work tasks.
Flow over frenzy. Structure breeds simplicity.

20. Tell the truth.
Honesty lightens your emotional load, make this a lifestyle practice.

21. Walk more often.
Let the rhythm of your steps reconnect you to life. Walking is one of life’s greatest gifts. It has so many benefits that it requires its own post.

22. Dance and sing.
Joy don’t require permission. Find time to enjoy the moment, to do silly and heart nourishing things.

23. Check in on your friends.
Relationships require presence, not perfection.

24. Spend quality time with your family.
These are the irreplaceable moments.

25. Don’t hold a grudge.
Forgiveness frees you more than it frees them.

26. Learn to cook easy meals.
Nourishment can be simple and sacred. You are more likely to stick to a healthy menu when you learn to cook simple and easy meals.

27. Create a minimalist wardrobe.
Choose pieces that reflect your essence, not just the trend.

28. Write it down.
Thoughts untangled on paper become clarity in your mind. “Write the vision and make it plain.” (Habakkuk 2:2)

29. Make time for the things that matter.
If it’s not a priority, it’s a distraction. Learn to focus on the important over the urgent. The Eisenhower Matrix explains this so well.

30. Be grounded in your beliefs and values.
Let your life be rooted, not reactive. Create a vision statement for your life and let that be the guiding force for your decisions and actions.

How to live a Simple Life

Simplifying your life doesn’t mean shrinking it, it means shaping it to reflect who you truly are. It’s not about less for the sake of less, but less for the sake of more: more meaning, more peace, more room to breathe and just be.

So ask yourself again: What are you willing to let go of in order to live a life that feels like yours?

Summer is the perfect time to slow down, soak in the sunshine, and dive into the pages of a great book. As a woman over 30, I believe reading is one of my biggest flexes.

In the last 5 years, I have read over 150 books, that number is still staggering, but the pandemic and several social media detoxes made it possible.

Guess what?

Reading during the summer break is more than just leisure—it is self-care. It is an opportunity to get lost in ideas, stories, and experiences that will inspire, empower, and rejuvenate you. Whether you’re lounging by the beach, enjoying quiet evenings on the patio, or escaping for a weekend retreat, reading offers each of us a chance to rediscover passions that may have been side-lined by the hustle of everyday life.

But this is not just about fiction books (I’m more of a non-fiction gal), but about finding great pieces of writing that can transform how you see the world.

Why You should Read more Books this Summer.

Exploring empowering and entertaining books can be a transformative experience. It can provide a lot more depth and meaning to this season. Here are a few reasons to read:

1. Reignite your Creativity.

If you have been struggling to create new things or refine old ideas, then reading presents an opportunity for you to get your creative juices going.

2. Boosts Confidence

New knowledge and new ideas can give you that much needed surge of confidence. They say knowledge is power, and applied knowledge is an indestructible force. And it’s kinda true.

Knowledge gives you access into places and worlds you did not even know existed and reading is a chance to explore and experience such things.

3. As a Self-Care Practice

Reading is a great way to feed you heart and soul. It can be a healing balm and a covering for the hollow parts of your soul. Basically, reading a good book is life-enriching, which is a good enough reason to indulge in this practice as often as you can.

What Types of Books should You Consider?

1. Fiction

Fiction books are clearly the most entertaining of the lot. If you’re anything like me then you wouldn’t mind occasionally getting lost in a great romantic story. Though as I’ve grown older, I have found my tastes moving more towards non-fiction/self-help books.

2. Memoirs

I believe memoirs and biographies give us one of the greatest opportunities to learn about people we admire and understand how they evolved. I also think people usually ignore this genre of books, even though they are often the most transformative.

It’s one thing to learn about great people in history, but quite another to learn about them in their own words, here you get to understand their motivations and perspectives. I plan to read more biographies this year.

3. Non-fiction

These are probably the most common and they cut across different from self-help books, business books, religious books, and even health books.

Five Timeless Books to add to Your Summer List:

1. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I have never seen a bad review of The Alchemist. It is one of those books that almost everyone who has read it was moved by it. I have often heard how the book transformed how they see the world and pushed them to actually pursue a life worth living.

With that kind of testimonial, you know that this is one book you must read. I bought my copy and plan to delve in this summer. Who knows, perhaps it is another timeless piece that I will always come back to.

2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen is hands down one of my favourite books of all time. I tend to re-read it every couple of years and it almost always feels like I am reading it for the first time.

This book is not only a classic, but I believe it revolutionised the romantic fiction genre, and has led to countless movies adaptations.

You really can’t go wrong with Pride and Prejudice. It is one book you’re going to want to keep coming back.

The first line in the book is still one of the most famous in English literature (apart from Shakespeare, of course):

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

3. The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason

The Richest Man in Babylon is actually a personal finance book. It is collection of stories set in the ancient city of Babylon. The author used these memorable stories to distil important financial lessons and money management ideas.
I love that this book is entertaining but also chock full of wise financial tips and money ideas. 

4. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

You might have noticed a theme with my book selection, most of these are old books, but they remain timeless as all great books tend to be.  Jane Eyre is a 19^th century book written by Charlotte Bronte one of the prolific and multitalented Bronte sisters.

It is an incredible book filled with intrigue, romance, and a bit of drama. It’s starts off a bit slow, but quickly crescendo into a book you wouldn’t want to put it down.

5. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Things Fall Apart is pretty special, not just because it was written by an African (Nigerian to be exact), but because of the beautiful tapestry painted by the author of old Igbo culture. The book is rich with imagery, history, and drama. It gives us a glimpse of what life must have been like about a 100 years ago. The author, the late Sir Chinua Achebe, used deep and impactful proverbs to depict life’s realities.  

The book is truly a masterpiece and it’s no wonder it remains one of the greatest books of all time.

Create Your Own Summer Reading List Today!

You don’t have to wait until the heat of summer to create your reading list. You can choose to get digital versions or physical. I don’t mind a physical book, now and again.

The five I suggested above are a great mix of both fiction and non-fiction. But you don’t have go with all my recommendations, you can go ahead to create yours, but whatever you do, Pride and Prejudice must be on that list. Lol

Have you ever reached the middle of the year and thought, “where did the time go?”

If so, you’re not alone. As we move past the first few months of a new year, it becomes easier to lose a sense of time except we remain intentional and focused on our goals. This is why a half-year audit is such a powerful tool. I like to call it a mid-year reset button.

The idea of an audit is probably something you’ve heard about. It is defined as a “methodical examination and review” of something.

But how often do we do it?

How often do we check our progress and goals?

I have learnt over time that success is not always a sufficient indication of progress.

Because you can be succeeding in the wrong thing. Having a moment of reset gives us a chance to reflect, realign, and refocus before the second half of the year flies by.

What exactly is a Half-Year Audit?

This is a structured check-in you do halfway through the year (usually in the month of June or early July). The idea is to use the time to evaluate your progress by looking at your goals, your habits, and overall wellbeing.

Think of it as a personal performance review that builds intentionality and structured progress.

It’s not just about work or achievements but a chance to ask critical questions like:

“Am I living the way I want to live?”

“What is working or not working?”

“What needs to shift?”

Why Half-Year Audits are especially Relevant to Women.

As women, we tend to take on much more than we should and there are different reasons for this. Many of us are juggling careers, relationships, side hustles, family responsibility and even other group commitments, while not forgetting our personal development.

With all these things, it is easy to lose sight of our needs. I believe a mid-year life check-in is so important to help us stay centered and to re-prioritize without shame or guilt.

 Whether you’re seeking clarity or trying to avoid burnout, a half-year audit can help you:

1. Set or reset healthy boundaries.
2. Clarify your next step.
3. Boost your motivation and productivity.
4. Reignite your purpose.
5. Achieve your personal growth goals.

What should be in Your Half-Year Audit

There are six key areas you should include in your mid-year audit; these are some of the areas you may have created goals in at the beginning of year. This list is by no means exhaustive; however, I believe that the fewer areas you focus on the better your audit process will be, this is to avoid the risk of getting bogged down with the process if you select too many areas.

Health and Wellness

Are you feeling rested and nourished? Do you need to tweak or restart your exercise regimen? How about your food intake, what can you shift to better suit your needs?

Emotional Needs

This is about checking your mental and emotional state. Be honest with yourself about how you’re really doing. This has been a big one for me as I prepare for my own half-year audit. It’s so easy to get caught in all we’re doing and fail to reflect on how we are feeling.

Relationships

Can you identify which of your friendships or connections need more attention? Perhaps, you need to make more time for your partner, your parents, siblings, or close friends. Don’t try to do them all at once, but pace yourself.

Finances

How is your bank account looking? Lol. Are you on track with your money goals? Do you need to start, stop, or reshape your side hustles? Are you saving and investing or spending much more than you should?

Career

Are you meeting your career goals? Have you seen an improvement in your work output and leadership? Is it time to perhaps change roles, jobs, or industries? Are you also thinking about your legacy and how to leave a meaningful impact with the work you do?

Personal Growth

What have you learned so far and what areas do you need to develop in the second half of the year? How are you working on your personal growth to ensure you actually hit your growth targets?

Three ways to Conduct a Mid-Year Audit.

Conducting an effective mid-year life review requires a step-by-step process from the point of evaluation to implementation.

1. Reflect on Your Progress.

The very first step in an effective half-year audit is to evaluate your progress. This calls for a period of reflection and remember to note down your results.

You check your progress to determine the following (life check-in questions):

• What you did right 
• What didn’t quite pan out,
• What you need to change, refine, or stop, etc.

2. Tweak or Update Your Plan.

Now that you have an idea of what worked or didn’t work, you can go ahead to revisit your annual plan (if you don’t have one then you can create it). The annual plan will usually include what you wish to achieve in the 6 areas we mentioned above.

Update your plan in line with the outcome of your reflection and evaluation process. This may mean amending or adjusting certain goals, instituting new habits and stopping others.

3. Implement Your Ideas

A mid-year review is incomplete without implementation. You need to take action on the changes you wish to inculcate. So today, and for the rest of this week, I would like you review your year, so far. See what changes you can implement right now.

How does that sound?

Give Yourself Permission to Pause

A half-year audit isn’t about perfection or guilt, but about presence and progress. It is a much-needed reminder that you get to choose how you show up this year and the things that matter to you.

Take this opportunity to reset your goals, refresh your mindset, and reconnect with the version of yourself you wish to become.

Do you secretly want a perfect life?

Are you usually lost in daydreams where everything seems to work out and falls into place with the littlest effort? If you’re anything like me then you probably have and still do. Don’t worry, it will be our little secret.

So, how do these dreams usually play out – do they center around your health, wealth, family, relationships, or all of the above? Probably all.

While I wish I could encourage these daydreams, I need you to spend more time in the real world and your real life. The imperfect, trying-to-make-things work life.

That is the real deal and we only get one chance at it. I say these things to remind us of how easy it is to spend time on the impossibilities while leaving out the opportunities. We may believe we are helpless and can do nothing to change our circumstances and end up acting as victims of circumstance rather than victors.

Taking control means gaining the power or knowledge to guide and manage our lives. It is the distinguishing factor of one who chooses to live with purpose.

God did not create us just to live but to live more abundantly – John 10:10, understanding what we need to do and when to do it.

“Do what you can with all you have, wherever you are.” Theodore Roosevelt

Four Steps to Control Your Life

These four areas are critical in pursuit of a more intentional and meaningful life. I hope you find these useful.

1. Be Humble.

• Are you easily offended, with a prickly skin and heightened senses?
• Are you quick to correct others, to show why you’re better, prettier, healthier and all the other –iers?
• Do you find it hard to let things go? Quick to recount issues and conflicts?
• Do you love being right and willing to spend the whole day(or year) arguing your point?
• Do you always feel the need to be recognized, celebrated, and remembered?
• Are you more concerned with what people will say? Do you often do things to impress others?
• Are you afraid of failing or even telling others about your failures?
• Do you give credit where it’s due or like to hug the limelight?

That’s quite a list and for good reason, humility is an important ingredient to living a full life but also difficult, in practice. It is our ability to be free from pride and arrogance, two things’ we humans have in spades. It’s easier to be arrogant than it is to be humble. Arrogance can be subtle, without our knowledge or consent, which means we need to be intentional about walking in humility.

There is a popular saying that “your attitude is everything’. Our character has a huge impact on what we do and how we are perceived. Do you struggle with pride? Before you answer, take a few minutes to ask yourself some questions. You can answer the ones I stated above and a few others.

We need to be honest about this so we can work on it.

There is also false humility, which is where we pretend outwardly to be humble but are still puffed up inside. I talked about in this post. I started this piece with being humble since we need to get this right before we can do the other things effectively.

Humility is the gateway to sustainable growth and success, because it allows you to own up to your learning gaps and supports your willingness to be a lifelong student of life.

2. Be Decisive. 

Taking control of our lives means realizing that the choice lies with us. It is up to us to do or not do. We are not only responsible for our lives but for our actions or inactions.

This means taking responsibility for our choices. We can choose to say ‘Yes’ or “no’ but not dilly dally between the two. Taking responsibility also means we own up to our mistakes rather than pass the buck.

Taking responsibility = learning from mistakes.

It takes a lot of courage to own up to things we’ve done or should have done but it is always the right thing to do.

We also need to learn to create healthy boundaries. This means learning to say no.

If you’re anything like me then you’ve struggled in this area. There are so many reasons why we find it difficult to say ‘no’ or easier to say ‘yes’. We say yes when we don’t want to disappoint the other person though it will usually mean taking on more than we can handle. At the root of this is often a desire to people please, to be seen in a good light and to belong to whatever social circle, connection or group that matters to us.

We may also suffer from what I call the “super-hero complex“, are you the daughter everyone relies on, the sister, colleague, friend who is everything to everyone? This is not sustainable and will only lead to disrespect and burnout. It’s okay to say no to the wrong things and yes to the things that matter.

“I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence”.

Gavin De Becker

3. Plan with Purpose  

Have you ever wondered about the sort of things you want to do or accomplish? Have you ever considered the ‘p’ word – purpose? Hope so. Planning is all about making sense of who we are and who we want to be. It’s about connecting the dots from dreams to reality. It could be for the long term, short term, or medium term. All that matters is that there is some coherent structure to the way we choose to live our lives.

An important part of planning is that it is written down. It is not enough to think about it. Even if you have the best memory in the world, it will still fail you so write it down.

“Write it down. Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants; can’ts into cans; dreams into plans; and plans into reality. Don’t just think it–ink it.”

Michael Korda

Writing it down is also a way to process your thoughts and to prioritize.

If you want to plan but don’t know how to go about it, you could start by making a simple list. I call this the life plan list – start with the things you want to do and achieve (no need to add a specific time frame),

Then create another column where you write out what you would need to achieve the things in the first list, and finally set a time frame for these tasks, be realistic. You will probably realise that some of them will fall into the short, mid, and long-term horizons and that’s okay.

Don’t be in a hurry, it’s better to plan well and finish well. There are quite a few life planners out there, you can check out the Passion Planner, this is one of the most comprehensive planners out there, it works as a yearly planner (not dated) and also includes spaces for noting longer term plans. 

4. Activate Your Plans

Taking control of our lives means that we don’t just sit and wait for things to happen but ‘act’! We need to take real steps to actualise our plans.

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Wishing is not enough; we must do.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Author

Change is an expected constant in our lives, and this means there may never be a better time to do the things we need to do. The stars will not align, and you may have to hold back for a long while if you’re waiting to have enough money, time, a husband, children, love, family and all the other things we use as excuses and reasons to stall.

Another setback is procrastination, it is usually our way of avoiding the very things we should be doing.

Are you watching yet another episode of Friends rather than write? Or maybe you’re in another Instagram rabbit hole where a 10-minute “innocent” browse turns to hours devouring pictures of your friends and all those lovely people you admire?

Don’t worry you’re not alone. While it’s quite normal to procrastinate, it still hampers our progress. You can set timelines that make room for work and play. You know yourself best, you can use your planner to set these timelines.

A more ominous problem is self-sabotage, the elder and more dangerous sibling to procrastination.

Self-sabotage is usually a deliberate act to destroy or hamper our growth. It may mean not attending an interview you had spent months praying for, eating even more junk than usual when you’re trying to lose weight, signing up for paid online class but never attending. There are so many ways in which we work against our dreams and goals. I hope to write more on this subject as I’ve seen how detrimental it is to our progress.

A quick way to overcome this issue is to break your tasks down and do them bit by bit. It will certainly add up in no time and you can build momentum this way as self-sabotage is often fueled by fear – fear of not being good enough, of success and of change. 

Never forget to stay grounded

While the above steps are integral to living a more intentional and purposeful life, they are nothing and will be useless without some sense of the divine. As a Christian, I have learnt to live a life that is rooted in my relationship with God. This constantly helps me refine my decisions and actions to ensure continuous alignment with my beliefs.

It is necessary that we learn to take control of our lives especially as our world leans deeper into divisions, intolerance, and bias. People will look for reasons to distinguish themselves from others and where we don’t know or understand our selves and the things that matter to us, we may find that we follow the pack, doing what the majority are doing or feeling the pressure to conform.

Whatever you do, I hope you realise that the power to live an unforgettable life lies with you.

Are you looking for ways to enjoy the summer months without breaking the bank? You may have noticed that compared to last year, the prices of things are noticeably higher. Recent tariff hikes and the increase in production of so many things are the main culprits.

Which means you will have to spend much more to get about the same value. And if you’re anything like me then I imagine you want to spend much less than you earn, and put the rest of it towards your investments and goals.

But at the same time, you don’t want your social life to suffer because of the current economic changes.

At times like this, we need to find other ways to save money, while still enjoying the summer. This led me to create this list of affordable and unique activities that will ensure your friend groups remain vibrant and fun.

These ideas have helped me a time or two when I was low on funds but wanted still spend meaningful time with my friends.

10 Budget Activities to Try out this Summer.

1. Go Hiking

Hiking is a great idea for a cheap outdoor idea you can do with friends. In fact, it is one of the few things you can do with large groups of friends without getting overwhelmed or spending too much.

A few years ago, I was part of a group that hiked up a mountain to visit a community. The journey up was pretty gruelling but the view and interactions with the community was so worth that after we got back, I was asking about the next jaunt.

2. Organise a Potluck Dinner

Do you love to host your friends and family? Perhaps, you are worried about how the cost of things will affect your ability to host a great dinner where people eat well without selling your kidneys.

A great alternative is to turn dinner to a potluck style event where everyone chips in. Go with a theme or a set menu and encourage each person to bring something on the menu.

This makes dinner more inclusive and reduces the burden on the hosts.

3. Plan a Games Night

I have attended some epic games night, and I will always recommend them as a great and inexpensive meet up idea for friends.

The interesting thing I’ve found is that the games don’t have to be fancy, I have seen people draw the proverbial swords arguing over a scrabble game, and teams almost stepping over each other in a charades game.

One of the reasons I love games is because it is an instantaneous icebreaker and gets people in a good mood very quickly.

Make sure you plan a couple of games nights this summer.

4. Take Road Trips

If you love to travel and had hoped to travel aboard this summer before the tariff hikes kicked, then I feel you pain.

Take heart, there are still a few options you can try,

I know going on a road trip is not quite the same as a trip to Paris or Aruba, but it will do for now.

For one thing, road trips are an incredible opportunity to bond with your friends and family, something you may not really get to do while snorkelling in the clear blue seas of Aruba. So, you see there are great benefits to hitting the road with your friends.

You can start with exploring the cities closest to you or the next state.

5. Go Thrifting

This a pretty unique idea but I have seen it work for me and a few of my friends. So, I love finding unique and old items that have got a lot of character and charm, and thrifting has been a great way to do this.

I once bought a beautiful silver flower brooch that was designed in the 1930s in a thrift store. While it cost much more than most items, it was still a steal compared to the real value. You cannot begin to imagine how much joy it brings me every time I wear it, or thinking about the idea that some lady I will never meet wore it decades ago. That’s surreal.

6. Visit Parks

Spending time in parks is definitely one of life’s pleasures, especially if it’s one of those parks that have many scenic views and interesting animals and foliage. I recall that during the pandemic, most of my friends and I met up in parks. There was this park next to my apartment that would usually have beautiful swans by a small lake nestled along the bank of the park. We would go there and just gaze at these majestic creatures. Bliss.

7. Volunteer

I think the summer season provides an opportunity to give back through volunteering and joining causes that interest you. Quite a few charities have events during the summer. You and your friends can find ways to help. You will end up hanging out together and doing it all for a good cause, certainly a win-win.

8. Do Dessert Hangouts.

If you don’t have enough time or money for a full dinner, then you can consider meeting up for just desserts. My friends and I have done this countless times. We have a neighbourhood ice cream store we have been visiting for over a decade. I particularly love their selection of waffles and pies which are perfect with creamy and delectable scoops of ice cream.

9. Start or Join a Book Club.

Okay, you may be thinking that having a book club is a nice albeit boring idea, but I beg to differ. You can add your own twist to it. For instance, you can decide to read only certain kinds of books, or you can meet up in each other’s home or even turn your meet ups into picnic dates. I know I would love the idea of discussing a great book while sipping wine and eating out of a lovely charcuterie board.

Make Your Summer Magical

I hope these 9 ideas remind you that there is so much you can do without breaking the bank.

However, it will take some intentionally and a little bit of planning, especially for the ideas that require a bit more work like the road trips and volunteering.

I was at a conference yesterday when I heard someone call my name. Now, I have a pretty common name, so I didn’t think much of it. But when I heard it again—this time clearer—I turned around and there she was: a dear friend I hadn’t seen since the pandemic (which, let’s be honest, feels like it was a whole century ago).

We hugged, laughed, and caught up like no time had passed. It felt so good to reconnect, but it also got me wondering—why had it taken us so long?

When I registered for that conference, I expected to learn and network, not to get the unexpected gift of reconnection. That moment reminded me how vital female friendships are and how easy it is to let them slip through the cracks.

The truth is, as we get older, life becomes fuller—careers, family, deadlines, and just trying to keep it all together. Making time for friendships can start to feel like one more task on an endless to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Just like any other area of our lives—wellness, work, or finances—building meaningful friendships requires intention, wisdom, and a whole lot of grace. The good ones are always worth the effort.

5 Reasons to Build Female Friendships

First of all, I believe we all need adult friendships, particularly strong female friendships. There are several benefits to having great female friends and here are 5 you should know:

1. They provide emotional support

Women are generally emotional beings, and this innate sensitivity enables us to provide amazing emotional support to other women. You know how it feels when you’re going through stuff and you speak to a friend who ‘gets it’ without explanation?

At such moments, you feel seen and know you matter.

2. They are confidence boosters and your cheerleaders

Okay, great friendships are definitely good for our self-esteem. You know we women can be especially hard on ourselves. I know times I felt I looked terrible, or I had messed up and I had a friend speak life into me.

I have also done this for several friends and it is always such a joy see them walk a little straighter and their eyes shine a little brighter from hearing positive and affirming words. Most women know how to do this for their friends. And we all bloom in such friendships.

3. They provide a safe space for vulnerability

One thing I absolutely love about great female friendships is that we can be vulnerable with each other. I met up with one of my friends from college, and we talk about everything. From farting in front of each other, to how our lives had evolved over the years (things that we had done and things we had failed to do).

It was affirming to open up to someone who had known me for a long time and not worry about being judged or ridiculed.

4. They evolve with you

Great friendships are not static but flow and adapt to the current pressures and expectations of life. You tend to grow together as you go through life’s journey. Whether it is career changes, relocation, marriage and motherhood, or even, we tend to experiences these key stages with patience and understanding.

5. They make life more fun and fulfilling

There is so much joy in true friendships, and I think the biggest reason for this is that there is no pretence, each of you shows up as you are and know it will be great. I am a fun-loving person, though I don’t go out much, when I do, it is always such a joy to spend time laughing, doing activities together and even travelling together.

Well, here are 15 ideas you can incorporate to become a better friend.

15 Awesome Ways to be that Friend we all LOVE

1. Check in on Your Friends

Find time to reconnect with your friends. This may a weekly or monthly check in.  You don’t have to wait for them to do it. Of course, the depth of your friendship will affect how committed you are to this process.

2. Share Exciting Opportunities

Don’t hoard useful ideas and opportunities which you know may benefit your friend.

3. Invite them to Meaningful Events.

The conference I mentioned earlier had been sent to me by another friend, and it turned out to be an insightful experience. It’s interesting that her thoughtfulness has also driven me to think about other events or things she may be interested in.

4. Be a Connector

This follows on from the previous idea. I think one hallmark of great adult friendships lies in our willingness to help our friends expand their network. Imagine friendships where each friend is always willing to connect their friends to great people and organisations they know.

5. Be an Active Listener

This should be a given but you will be surprised how often we take conversations with our friends for granted. You may assume you already know what they will talk about so are not fully engaged in the conversation. A good friend is an active listener and if she is unable to join in , she excuses herself rather than pretending.

6. Become their Cheerleader

Supporting and cheering on your friends through important and life-changing moments should be a non-negotiable of great female friendships.

7. Support their Goals

Do you know the dreams and goals of your friends? Can you rightly identify the things that matter to them and ways to help them achieve these things? Knowing and doing these things will certainly strengthen your friendships.

8. Organise Activities together

Great friends actually do stuff together, these could be physical or virtual activities but the real objective is to spend time together.

9. Remember memorable days

Do you remember the birthdays or wedding anniversaries of your friends? I know I used to be really bad with this, and had to set google reminders. Thankfully, there are a few that are now seared into my brain after forgetting a few times. Lol

10. Bridge the Gap

You don’t have to wait for them to reach out before you do. If you believe they are a great friend and you want to have them in your life then you must be willing to bridge the gap.

11. Be Honest with them

Honesty is an important foundation in long-term friendships. Honesty makes trust and vulnerability much easier. It also improves the health of your friendship because you both are willing to be candid and do so to avoid things festering. I will be the first to admit that you need a whole load of wisdom and grace to navigate this knowing we women are sensitive and given to overthinking things.

12. Send them thoughtful notes or gifts, just because

Find ways to brighten the day of your friends. I have found little encouraging notes can be such a thoughtful and timely way to do just that.

13. Share Your Own Dreams and Goals

A good friendship is not a one-way street. There is often an interchange required when building and keeping the relationship. Which means there should be some level of support on both sides.

14. Become their Accountability Partner

I imagine you want your friend to be a better version of herself, and one way to do this is to hold her accountable to her goals and dreams. It’s not enough to know what she wants to do, you can also check in to make sure she is following through on her personal growth.

15. Support their Business or Career growth

Do you have a friend who just started a business? Have you patronised her or helped her market her business? This is not mandatory, but doing something to make life easier and better for a friend can be life-changing.

Start Building Your Friendship Circle today

I hope this post has inspired you with practical, heartfelt ways to build and nurture your circle of female friendships. As I mentioned earlier, strong friendships aren’t just a nice-to-have—they’re deeply beneficial for your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Investing time and energy into the right relationships is one of the most life-giving choices you can make.

So today, take a small but powerful step: reach out to one or two friends and let them know how much they mean to you. A simple message can reignite connection and remind you both that you’re not alone in this journey